OCD convincing me?

I feel like is really hard to get better when you brain is trying to convince you that you actually want to do it and since it's really convincing I do not know what to do not feel like that. Nothing positve that I think makes me happy, I feel like I have no escape of this. Before I would get like moments of reliefs when thinking positive but now I don't, maybe I am going through depression. I am starting to doubt about my own person ( its not an intrusive thought )and to think that I will be ok being that horrible person, but I do not know what do to. I feel numb and I am so tired. I just know that I was not this person before, I used to be a person with goals, super kind and someone that loved being around people. I try to ignore or not engage with the thoughts, and why is it coming back? What do I need to do? Anyone going through this?

Harm OCD

Username: AVGHAVGH

Date posted: 22d ago

Same happening with me. I don't know if it's ocd or just me. I feel so numb too. I just don't feel anything 😕 I'm just going on with my days without any goals. I used be a joyful person. I really miss my own smile.

Username: Ocdsucks56Ocdsucks56

Date posted: 18d ago

@AVGH Me too man🤒

Username: andreafuenmayorandreafuenmayor

Date posted: 22d ago

i feel the same, i had harm thought and before i have a thought that i liked to live because of that thought, then when i was typing “living” i thought in the harm thought i think on purpose and i feel bad living and weird idk how to explain :(

Username: Ocdsucks56Ocdsucks56

Date posted: 18d ago

@andreafuenmayor I really get it, it’s a nonstop game and I hate it. It happens too when I’m in therapy I literally question everything or my ocd is , I will say

Username: EllasmamaEllasmama

Date posted: 21d ago

Honestly I’m in the same boat. Like I’m trying so hard but it feels like it’s possible. Like I have it about my beloved dog and when I try to force myself to hold her and love on her it feels like part of me actually really wants to do something awful. I hate it. It feels like it’s convincing/convinced me that I want this because it doesn’t feel like I don’t. I so wish I could go back to just enjoying and loving her.

Username: Ocdsucks56Ocdsucks56

Date posted: 18d ago

@Ellasmama Yes that it me right know. I can even say it’s scary because I don’t feel anything but it does bother me.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22d ago

Yes! I feel the exact way at times. OCD is a true bully. There are days when I’m able to not engage with the thoughts and be ok, but there are days (like today) when one thought sends me into a spiral of thoughts and I feel trapped and scared all day. And it is SO overwhelming and mentally exhausting, especially when it’s harm related (I struggle with harm and sexual intrusive thoughts, which give you the worst feelings of shame, guilt, on top of anxiety, which is not fun!). Your goal oriented and social & kind personality seem very similar to mine. I have learned through therapy that OCD definitely attacks the things that are most important to us, so if you are a very kind person, OCD will try its hardest to make you feel the opposite or doubt your intentions. Have you tried leaning into the thought and saying maybe I want to do these things, maybe I don’t and just sitting with that unknown anxiety? It is not fun, but very helpful to retrain your brain to handle anxiety and the “unknown.” Also, try to self-monitor and see if you are doing any compulsions like mentally checking to see how you feel about each thought (this is a big one for me and I do it sometimes without realizing it). Sometimes ignoring the thoughts can make the anxiety worse in the long-run, because you never let the brain learn how to just let anxiety be there, so the brain won’t adapt as quickly in anxious scenarios. And lots of exposures to your fears repeatedly help the most, even if you are in recovery, exposures are still key! Not sure if you are working with a ERP therapist or have in the past, but it has really changed my life and made my OCD much more manageable. NOCD’s Shanda Shern is awesome!

Username: tttamme

Date posted: 5y ago

I want to get this off my chest... I'm not sure which OCD type I have. It started with fears of being gay but now I don't have as much gay thoughts (but still enormous amounts of anxiety, and no feelings for girls) but I'm doubting about recovery. I have been in treatment for two years but every time I fully decide to accept the OCD, then OCD finds a new way to doubt about this recovery tip. After OCD has latched a doubting thought about the recovery tip, it doesn't work any more and the more I try to use the tool (e.g. Notice the thoughts and return to present moment, meditation, mindfulness) the stronger the OCD gets. I try to remain positive but OCD pulls me into negativity. I feel like every thought I have is illogical and even the sentences I wrote here in the post feel like not real. I get so many questions in my head (that I know are OCD questions) but the more I try to resist answering them, the stronger they get. Basically like I want to recover but the more I want to come out of OCD the stronger it gets. I'm so confused and don't know what to do... I tried to confront the anxiety and I started liking the feeling but then OCD told me you hate the anxiety and it overtook me .. so so illogical and I'm really sick of it. 6 months of this back and forth between OCD and recovery and it's tiring me... Being so inadequate all the time and exhausted.. it seems like it's impossible to overcome the OCD when you just have no energy and you have the feeling as if you can't distinguish yourself from the thoughts. What to do when you are so overtaken by OCD and every decision you make, is actually OCD telling things in my head? Like my deciding part of my brain would be broken...

Username: BetterDays

Date posted: 3y ago

Does anyone especially with harm ocd feel like they are their thoughts and want to do these things? Like no matter how hard I try and even during my therapy session I get the constant, “what if this isn’t OCD?”, “you like these thoughts”, “your a bad person”, “your going to act on these thoughts.” It gotten to the point where it feels like I’m actually this person and that I have changed into an evil person and it’s so scary cause it’s gotten to the point where it feels like I’m never going to get my life back and that’s saddening. I’ve never had a violent history never hurt anyone or anything but I don’t know why it feels like I am.

Username: Things will ...

Date posted: 2y ago

Ocd and convincing us

I am struggling a lot right now with ocd convincing me I want to hurt my partner when I know deep down I don’t. It’s more so a feeling then a thought. I’m just scared that one day I’ll be convinced or give in into the thought. I don’t want to feel like I would hurt my partner anyone else ?

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OCD convincing me?

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