OCD makes me feel like I’m holding in the biggest secret about myself and I don’t deserve happiness. I feel red faced and nervous all the time, when the thoughts come on it feels like a big rush of “truth” hits me and I can’t not believe it
Especially with real Event it feels like I’m hiding everything. I really hate that feeling. Especially when you feel like you’re an evil monster. Your not alone there’s so many of us that feel that way
Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve love because when my parents found out who I was, they thought they deserved better. But I know this is their failure and not mine.
@TwistedLogic 100%
Yes! For sure! And when my boyfriend says something about my real event (he doesn’t know bc everyone says he doesn’t need to know what I did at 6 years old), then I feel sick to my stomach and get irritable bc I have this massive horrible secret
Absolutely. I often feel sick and disgusted with myself, like I’m holding in a secret that would only make the people I love hate me if they ever found out. It’s unbearable at points, but I just have to remember that I’m not an awful person, it’s just what my illness wants me to believe
My dad died before he ever found out about my ocd. However he did know I'm pretty sure he'd call me crazy or a lunatic. He would always refer to Howie Mandell as one of those crazies who had to wash their hands 1,000 times. I know that I can't help the way I am. All I know that it sucks and no one wants to be this way. We all just want to get help and feel accepted for it. You definitely do deserve to feel happy and comfortable in your own skin, everyone does. I hope you can some relief soon.
Does anyone else feel like they’re living a double life with OCD? As if they have a very dark secret? I am so tired of feeling unwell around people and trying to calm myself down when I am in obviously calm situations. My train ride was so nerve wrecking today. While everyone was just chill and quiet. All I had were random and gross intrusive thoughts, and there I was standing like another train passenger. Ugh!
OCD makes me feel so alone. These last few months I feel like I’ve been unable to be honest or open fully with anyone. I’m so ashamed of what’s inside me and I’m scared. I feel like everything is my fault and I’m lonely despite having wonderful people and things in my life. I am alone and feel so fake and disingenuous.
Sitting here at the tire shop watching people who seem so normal. Just going about there day. Can they tell I have OCD. If they knew what would they say. I feel like everyone can tell how weird I am. I have so much shame and guilt. Anyone else feel this way?
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