Struggling

Hi everyone I honestly feel so defeated My anxiety and ocd has been so intense I have intrusive thoughts about everything for example I suffer w harm ocd I suffer w the thought that I feel like I’m not genuine I suffer with being terrified of mental illness such as schizophrenia I get scared I’ll snap n lose control I suffer with the fact that I’m scared my anxiety will never go away n I’ll never get better I suffer w being so irritable w the people I love Recently I’ve been terrified people r staring at me and can read through my body language of how I think Today my brain felt scrambled, I woke up for work when I didn’t have work - in my defense I didn’t check the schedule and took this day off a month ago I went to the wrong location for a workout class And I went to a friends house took off my shoes n can’t find them. So now I’m fearing that I’m losing my mind n becoming delusional. I want to try medication but I’ve heard so many bad things. I’m just so sad of feeling like this. This is my outlet bc some of you understand. But it’s really isolating idk how some people even work it’s hard sometimes I push myself every single day and it’s been 3 years and I feel like I’ve had no sense of peace. Any advice?

Username: yaya_zzyaya_zz

Date posted: 30w ago

I struggle With the same trust me you aren’t alone, I was scared I schizophrenic for a moment and I always meaning everyday deal with harm ocd and thinking I’m going crazy from all the thoughts that run through my head as I’m writing this my head is like you don’t have ocd you’re lying and you actually wanna do everything you think about it honestly sucks, I was scared to try medication as well but I was like oh well what’s the worst that could happen I’m already at my lowest it either betters me or I keep feeling the same. You should try it if you feel like you really need that help. I feel for you I can’t imagine 3 years :( I’ve only been dealing with this 2 months and I can’t imagine 3 years I’m scared of being like this forever or years how I hear here. Stay strong !!

Username: G.MG.M

Date posted: 30w ago

@yaya_zz Thank you it makes me feel better knowing other people feel like this too!! If you don’t mind me asking what medication you’re on? And if it’s helping?

Username: yaya_zzyaya_zz

Date posted: 30w ago

@G.M I am on Wellbutrin XL before discovering I was suffering from OCD I was only diagnosed by my doctor an antidepressant for my depression. I wouldn’t say it’s bad but I think I could find a better fit for me including my OCD and that’s what I’m working on right now, just make sure you say fully how you feel to get the right medication and also add that it’s your first time being medicated.

Username: CalistyaCalistya

Date posted: 30w ago

Hi, i also had the same exact condition as yours. Harm ocd feels so debilitating for me to the point that my anxiety makes me hard to think about anything (paralyzed). And for the whole day i feel i always need time alone and feel like isolating myself because i feel so different from other people.

Username: OCDFamilyOCDFamily

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 30w ago

There are proven strategies for OCD treatment. You don't have to keep suffering this way.

Username: thebubblyonethebubblyone

Date posted: 29w ago

hey, i'm really sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time. it sounds incredibly challenging to deal with all those intrusive thoughts and fears, on top of the mix-ups with your schedule. it's super tough, but you're not alone in this. 💔 by the way, have you heard about this new AI-powered OCD therapy tool called 'unstuck?' when i was in a similar spot, feeling overwhelmed by my OCD and anxiety, this free AI OCD therapy tool called "unstuck" (unstuckmyocd.com/try) that my NOCD therapist recommended really made a difference for me. i think it'll be especially helpful for you because it provides personalized step-by-step support tailored to your specific fears and thoughts, kind of like having an OCD therapist in your pocket. it's designed to help you work through your OCD challenges at your own pace. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: j

Date posted: 3y ago

I don’t normally make posts like this but if anyone can relate or has advice so I don’t feel so alone I would appreciate it! I feel like crying and I’m so anxious. So I’ve been dealing with an ocd flare up since February. It started out as contamination and harm after I had a really bad experience on a edible. The contamination mostly centered around the fear of someone accidentally giving me an edible to someone putting it in my food or water. Then it went from there to my Brian going you know what’s worse than edibles? LSD. So then I obsessed over that and it’s been like that on and off. I’ve had an extremely hard time with it it’s been one of the worst themes I ever had. I don’t eat certain things. Especially sweets. I avoid them. I avoid taking medication Bc I’m scared. I limit myself. I’m horrible about opening water bottles and if it doesn’t open just right I won’t drink out of it. I know it’s crazy I know it’s untrue but the panic I feel traces back to that night. I don’t ever want to feel that out of control again it scared me so bad I got diagnosed with ptsd (to be fair I had a lot of unresolved trauma that caused my glass to overfill) well, I’ve been going to EMDR therapy it’s got my ptsd under control but the ocd is louder. My ocd is clawing to stay alive. I’ve started to have intrusive thoughts now about my boyfriend might slip something into my water even though ITS NOT TRUE. So then I panic because the thoughts are so irrational that I get scared like why would I ever think that about him???? But the intrusive thoughts are so jarring and I don’t want my ocd to focus on him now! I need advice! I’ve been prescribed pristiq but haven’t taken it Bc you guessed it.,.. I’m scared to! I can’t go on like this! The thoughts are so irrational it scares me even though the rational side of me knows it’s not true but I guess that’s ocd. We get scared of the thoughts even though we know it’s not true and I know it’s my brain trying to keep the ocd going. I know therapy must be working otherwise my theme subjects wouldn’t have changed so fast. I’m so tired of this.

Username: hannahj99

Date posted: 1y ago

Newbie that’s confused and scared of meds

Hello everyone! I have been through a whirlwind of mental health struggles but OCD feels like it might be “running the show” and I didn’t know if anyone else could relate The first time I got told I was struggling with ocd was by a therapist only a few months ago who said I “fall under the cloud of harm ocd” This lead me to a downward spiral because I had never had a mental health diagnosis before and I was so scared right away that nobody would believe me or help me. I feel like my life has been so out of control over the last few months. I’m dealing with some other things such as big life changes and identity crisis (fresh out of college, no longer a student athlete, came out to my family). I had to leave my first job as an icu nurse for the immense distress it caused me as i was working day/night rotating shifts and being triggered unknowingly to some trauma that I didn’t even know I was holding onto. I now experience heavy mood swings and dissociation at times related to ptsd and I feel like life just isn’t the same. I’m in such a tough spot because I seem to have a fear of being misdiagnosed/improperly treated, a fear of taking meds, a fear of unintentionally harming myself, and my needs for safety reassurance are so strong that I’m back home with my parents and scared to do anything. I’m a nurse as well so I know way too much about the meds and side effects. At the end of the day, the logical part of my brain wants meds to help me , but the fear or starting meds, the side effects, and the trial and error of them not knowing what will work leaves me stuck and feeling hopeless. I always end up thinking that I could just feel better if I jumped back into my normal busy life, but when I do so and get triggered (ocd or ptsd) I am left hopeless and begging my parents to get me on meds. Each appointment though leads to significant anxiety and like I have to say every single detail , which ends in me getting frustrated and confused not wanting to take meds after all because i don’t think they have the full picture. I had a bad experience with Zoloft bringing out manic symptoms when I first started it. It was terrifying. I’ve been switching provider to provider trying to find someone I trust, but in the mean time my anxiety is worsening and I feel more confused of what my symptoms really are in the first place. I have Xanax that I can take 3x daily but I don’t like feeling like I’m going to get addicted to it if I keep taking it and avoid getting on long term meds. I don’t trust any doctors and I feel the need to tell them every single little detail which I feel like leads to further frustration and maybe even impaired treatment plans. I’m sorry if this is a lot but I’m really struggling and needing some support and guidance 😭

Username: G.M

Date posted: 46w ago

I need to rant

Hi, so I’ve been dealing with OCD for the past four years intrusive thoughts and all. At first it started with being scared of panic attacks then the thoughts went to being scared I’d harm myself and now they’re associated around harming other people especially my family which is very very scary. It feels like I’m deeply rooted a bad person. I can’t even tell anyone my thoughts. It also makes me confused on if I want these thoughts. I’m not even sure if I have any compulsions bc I try to just ignore the thoughts and distract myself. Lately I’ve noticed my anxiety getting a lot worse Notjhing seems to calm it down anymore and I just want to stay alone in my bed and make it all go away. I’m scared I’m scared of myself and I’m scared these thoughts could happen one day and I’m scared I want them. Sometimes my thoughts can make me feel like that… does anyone have any good resources im doing ERP but it’s so expensive. I haven’t tried medication but I want to I’m just scared it will make me worse or make me gain weight. But I’m at the point where I’m desperate and something needs to change bc I can’t live like this. I feel like I’m fighting my thoughts all day. And one second I feel confident I’m ok and the next my whole body gets hot and I feel like it’s all possible and I want these thoughts. Someone please give me advice?

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