existential ocd

how to stop existential ocd? I developed dpdr (depersonalisation and derealisation) from this. my toughts are horrible I can't even explain them. I think no one can understand this, just people who also go trought this. everything I think about turns into a horrible existential crisis and I loose connection with my body I see myslef from 3rd position, everything goes blurry and U can't hear properly. I feel so disconnected from reality. sometimes I just feel like I don't have to do anything or I can do anything because I don't even exist, nothing is real. I literally saw a car coming my way amd i had a tought it doesn't matter I can go through the street because I'm not real, i dont exist, so i did that and then later I realised what happened and im really scared now of what I am capable to do. how do I stop this? I'm on meds but I don't think they work, I've also tried many different therapists but I don't feel comfortable with anyone and nothing seems to work

Username: hr247hr247

Date posted: 37w ago

hi first off - i had existential ocd. i beat it. what you do is you 1. try to read as much philosophical/existential material as possible (exposure) 2. let the thoughts be there, sit with the anxiety, don't try to force them out of your head by doing mental compulsions cuz they will come back way stronger tell yourself "ok" whenever u get existential thoughts and move on i know it's scary, i know it's not inherent but only this way you can actually beat existential ocd and move on on the dpdr - try to ignore it as much as you can. as someone who went through this i assure you i know what it's like, i know it's the scariest feeling in the world (not even kidding, rank 1 worst feeling) the more you let it sit with you, the more it goes away, i am not even kidding like i just kinda told myself "fuck this", started ignoring it and within a week it went away this is not dpdr, you just have really bad existential ocd which causes derealization you'll get better

Username: hopefullyhopefully

Date posted: 37w ago

im kinda confused on the exposure part because like my therapist told me how searching stuff up is like giving the ocd the attention it wants, so he suggested that i stop searching even if i feel anxious and want to search stuff up to try to get an answer. that's why im like bro, what am i supposed to do, not search anything or search stuff up to expose myself??? if yk what i mean,, if you would help me understand this i would greatly appreciate it

Username: hr247hr247

Date posted: 37w ago

@hopefully do you not do exposures with your therapist?

Username: hopefullyhopefully

Date posted: 37w ago

@ocdposting - not really, cuz that isn't what he suggested doing, he just told me to first, recognize that whatever's going on in my head is ocd, then, tell myself that it isn't my thoughts, it's the ocd speaking, then just don't do anything about it like don't give it any attention, and if it keeps coming back just keep saying like it's the ocd speaking, and recognize that it's useless and ignore it basically? if that makes sense

Username: Impeli$123Impeli$123

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22w ago

@hopefully I would expose your self to it as much as possible and don't say it's your ocd that is a validation ur giving it attention.. I would disengage with the thought and keep the feeling there and try to sit with it as best as possible.. I struggle with ocd and very vad anxiety we can get throu this I have dpr and tbh sometimes I think it's my ocd playing that trick on be that I do have it

Username: eejpkeejpk

Date posted: 37w ago

I wish I could say I have a solution for those thoughts, but you’re definitely not alone. I am still learning how to realise which thoughts are not real. Something that helps ground me sometimes is making a physical change to my surroundings. It’s not like it makes the thoughts go away, but it helps me realise that I am there and my actions cause physical changes.

Username: Anonymous532Anonymous532

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 37w ago

Yes I feel everything you just described. You are not alone. I don’t have any advice yet on this because I am currently going through it. But im sure we can get through this

Username: username255

Date posted: 2y ago

About existential and dpdr

Has anyone actually overcome existential OCD? This theme has seriously not only caused dpdr but its just scary. Like i constantly feel like im living ina dream and nothing is real. Its definitely alot worse at night as it used to be all day. But its so draining makes me not wanna even live if im gonna deal with this forever. Also makes me scared ill get pyschosis or something too. UGH

Existential OCD

Username: enoughocd

Date posted: 1y ago

Existential ocd/depersonalisation

If anyone on this forum is experiencing what I’m experiencing please share your thoughts & experiences with me 🙏. I believe that I have gone insane with the awaful existential thoughts I’m having… I feel like I’m constantly looking for myself , questioning where I am , am I real? Is the world real? Am in a purgatory? What is I’m dead and I don’t know? I’ve become so unsure of myself and of everything around me , I’m constantly doubting reality , I feel so disconnected and feel as though my brain is falling a part and only little parts of it are functioning … I feel trapped inside my own head it’s like own head it’s like I want to escape out my head but I can’t and that triggers severe anxiety. What if I have already hurt someone & I wasn’t aware ?I have forgotten what it’s like to think and live like a normal person ! In fact my brain is now wired to think and live with my awful thoughts 🥲. I can’t cry or react to any happiness or sadness , I often worry that if something happens to someone I love , I won’t be able to show emotion … taking Lexapro but it’s not helping it helps with the depression but not with the intrusive or anxious thoughts. Another reason why I think I’m going mad is for example I’ll be driving on the highway then a truck drives past me, immediately I picture that I had a car accident and I’m not sure if I’m dead or a live because I’m so depersonalised that I don’t know if I’m still here . The hatred at part is trying to explain to a therapist what and how I’m feeling hence I’m reaching out to anyone on this forum who can relate and share their thoughts with me please 🙏

Username: enoughocd

Date posted: 38w ago

Existential ocd /harm ocd

Hi all , please comment if you’re experiencing what I’m about to share . I am going through a very tough time with existential fears & very frightening thoughts to a point where the thought of myself sends me into a spiral. I ask myself “am I even existing right now as I’m typing this” “ how do I know that I’m not already dead or in a purgatory “how do I confirm that I even exist” what if I’ve already died and this is what death feels like “ nothing & no one around me feels real , I look at my kids & my husband & question their existence. I’ve also been suffering from severe depersonalisation/derealisation & I don’t know which one is triggering the other ! I also suffer from harm ocd where I’m forever worrying that I might lose control & harm my family whom I love to bits & I’m always battling the nightmare inside me that makes me believe that I’ve already hurt them but I just don’t know it … I’m on lexapro & have been for two years but I find that all it does is numb my emotions, I can’t cry & at times worry that if sharpens to someone I love , I may not be able to cry or show emotions . I am convinced that I’ve developed schizophrenia 🥲🥲 which has always been my worst fear! Or that I’ve gone psychotic without realising . I cannot see myself out of this hole & my brain had forgotten what being a normal person once felt like 🥲🥲. I was seeing a psychologist and he did ERP with me but sadly that did Not help so I stopped seeing him altogether & lost faith in therapy altogether ! Sorry this is a very long post but I just want to know that someone out there is experiencing the same symptoms and has gotten over it through ERP or other medication ? Because I feel like I’m the only one suffering from this debilitating illness and there’s no way out!

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