I want to hurt my mom

So my mom wasn't/isn't the best mom in the world and she hevaly traumatized me. My parents are devorsed and I go to my mom's house every other weekend, now I haven't been diagnosed with ocd yet (I have a diagnosis app on the 11th) so I don't have any meds for it, anyway, I keep having these thoughts of harming my mother in extream ways, and I made the decision that I can't go to her house until we figure out what's going on with me for her own safety, I can't get any of these thoughts to go away and ik really scared

Username: EstridEstrid

Date posted: 1y ago

So sorry you experience these thoughts and feelings. But it' s very common among people with OCD. It's very good that you have an appt soon, I hope you will get help, OCD is so hard, but there is treatment and you can learn that these thoughts just are noise in your brain. Use the time until the appt to learn as much as possible about OCD. If we try to suppress the thoughts (which is a natural response) they grow stronger, the key is to learn to not engage with them at all, its difficult at first but you'll learn if you do therapy work. Even if the thoughts are scary I will tell you don't be afraid. They are "just thoughts."

Username: GregJGregJ

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m glad you found this app and have an appointment soon! I noticed your title says “I want to” but then at the end of your paragraph you say “ik really scared”. Do you think someone who really wanted to hurt someone else would be on here and be scared of the thoughts and avoid going to their moms? If you actually wanted to hurt her you would be at her house right now and never signed up for this app and you wouldn’t be scared of the thoughts. You will learn in therapy that we must face our thoughts and just let our thoughts say whatever we want. By not going to your moms that is considered avoidance which is an OCD compulsion. I used to avoid a lot of things when my OCD was really bad. Like Estrid said I would encourage you to read up on OCD.

Username: GregJGregJ

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Greg2 A good podcast you can listen to on YouTube is Ali Greymond

Username: EstridEstrid

Date posted: 1y ago

Well said Greg

Username: makeupandchinchillasmakeupandchi...

Date posted: 1y ago

I wonder if anyone has explained this to your understanding yet, if not I will try! So having thoughts about hurting your mom (harm ocd) does not equal you wanting or intending to hurt her. It is called an intrusive thought that goes against what we really want. (To not hurt her) anger can make intrusive harm thoughts feel more real. Intrusive thoughts are ones that we don’t like that make us anxious and uncomfortable make us confused and usually mad at ourself. I hope you find solace knowing that harm ocd means you are afraid of hurting your mom, instead of you want to hurt your mom. It’s quite tricky at first but if you have any questions you can ask here the community has tons of experience with harm ocd. :)

Username: bributterfly

Date posted: 6y ago

I suffer from intrusive thoughts, I think I may have HARM OCD. My therapist diagnosed me with anxiety and depression but not OCD because I never told her about my thoughts. I’m afraid of being around vulnerable people, and I’m afraid for going insane. The thought of it makes me want to throw up, this all started about a week ago, and I haven’t been able to eat since then. I don’t even want to go out because I’m in constant fear. I tell myself “what if I snap?” or “what if I’m a sociopath?” I have told my parents about it and even my significant other and they tell me “you wouldn’t even hurt a fly” I kind of feel relieved after that but not for long. I’ve been trying to get closer to god, I’ve been praying, meditating, I even took magnesium because I want to stop having these thoughts. I did go to therapy right away but I wasn’t completely honest to her due to fear. I’ve been feeling numb. I love my family.. so why am I afraid I might hurt them?

Username: Taylen

Date posted: 2y ago

Harm OCD

just a couple days ago i experienced this for the first time from watching the new DAHMER series. Im having intrusive images and thoughts of me harming or killing my loved ones and its so scary because i would never do it. It has me questioning if im crazy and im having severe panic attacks over 3 times a day. Im mentally and physically drained, i’ve told my mom about it and we are going to see a therapist tomorrow. Im scared to because idk if they specialize in OCD and if i tell them my thoughts they are gonna put me in the mental hospital or say im crazy and don’t have OCD, can any therapists on here or fellow people with Harm OCD let me know if you think im showing signs of it, i just want it to go away and to be able to sleep at night without severe overthinking.

Username: Edwin P

Date posted: 1y ago

OCD harm

I’m wondering if I’m alone I have harm OCD I get intrusive thoughts of hurting my mom but when I tell her to hide the knife I get this urge to find a knife I hope I’m not the only one I’m getting very scared of OCD

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I want to hurt my mom

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