Harm OCD

Is anyone else scared to not fight their intrusive thoughts about seriously hurting people and even killing them? Like the premise of ERP is to just let the thoughts flow and not do compulsions, but I’m scared if I don’t stop them or ruminate to keep them in check, then they will get out of hand and I will suddenly want to act on them. I’m terrified that suddenly I won’t be the kind, empathetic, harmless person I’ve always been. It doesn’t make any sense to me. I also fear that it’s not OCD and I’ve just been faking it or trying to convince myself that it is OCD.

Username: Jeffrey Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Thank you for sharing this. And yes, my friend this is very common with ocd. But here is the thing, the more we find the stronger ocd will get. ERP therapy is hard l, but remember this, ocd cannot make you do anything you do not want to do - and that includes compulsions. Ocd tells you that you will feel safe if you to do the compulsions- that is a lie. I have learned very recently that I have done a certain compulsion without even realizing it - and I have stopped since learning what I was doing was a compulsion. It is anxiety provoking - yes - but not compulsing has made me feel more in control of what I will and will not do to address my ocd. And ocd will even tell you it isn’t ocd. It’s you. Another lie. What ocd wants is 100% certainty and we cannot have that - nobody can. Here is a harm example from my life. I love my dog so much and there are times when I get an intrusive thought when we are walking that I could let the lease go and she would run away and she would die. Or another one is I could kick her to make her walk faster. Have I done it? No. Does it make me a bad person because I had the thought? No. It means I had an intrusive thought and I did not act on it. End of story. It take time and practice to get here but recovery is totally possible. I hope this helps.

Username: Thanks for the helpThanks for t...

Date posted: 1y ago

@Jeffrey This helps so much, thank you so much!

Username: MK30MK30

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Completely understand where you’re at. The thing is that we can’t stop the thoughts. We have to let them be there. Rumination just creates a rabbit hole and doesn’t want to give you a way out. The best thing you can do is sit with the thought and try to not give into your compulsions. It takes a LOT of practice. I’ve been stuck the past few days on a theme, but I’m trying to just let it be there and move on. We don’t know if tomorrow we’re going to wake up and want to act on those thoughts. That’s part of dealing with the uncertainty of it. Live your life true to your morals and values and try to let OCD be there. It turns into background noise eventually.

Username: Thanks for the helpThanks for t...

Date posted: 1y ago

@MK30 It was really hard for me to post this because well, it’s scary, but I am glad I did. Thank you so much for your insight. Like I keep seeing people on here posting, it’s nice to not feel like I’m alone.

Username: MK30MK30

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Thanks for the help You’re not alone. This disorder can be so debilitating. It is nice to have a place where there are other people who can relate to what you’re going through. It takes a lot of work, but it is possible to get your life back.

Username: Jak71Jak71

Date posted: 1y ago

Me too

Username: Meg JohnsonMeg Johnson

Date posted: 1y ago

That's been me from the beginning.

Username: Try2023

Date posted: 1y ago

OCD Fighting Back - Harm OCD

I am fairly new to the site, but have already been able to connect with a few of y'all that are struggling with some of the same things as I am. I have had OCD for years, but I never attributed my struggles to OCD, until I started down the path of harm OCD and the intrusive thoughts. Back in the beginning of December, I had a couple of intrusive thoughts come in about "what if" I harmed my husband and then one towards my youngest daughter. I let it get me so overwhelmed that I ended up in urgent care after passing out at my in-laws due to dehydration and lack of sleep. I finally found a therapist who informed me that I had OCD and that I hadn't just suddenly become a psychopath. But, even knowing that it is OCD, there has always been that doubt, as I am sure all of you have experience with. I am working on accepting the thoughts as just thoughts and moving on with my day. I have been working on not ruminating and just telling the thoughts, "maybe, maybe not." The problem is, every day, it is like the OCD is trying to convince me why I might harm my family. Every little thing that irritates me, my brain says, "See..you're getting frustrated with your kids. It makes sense that you would hurt them." On and on it goes and then I get the thought, maybe this is what I want. Maybe I am just an angry person. Maybe I have just finally had enough. I hate the "I" statements because I have never wanted to harm anyone, let alone my babies or my hubby. But, OCD tells me that I do. Has anyone else struggled with this? I have never wanted to harm anyone. I have always tried to protect my babies and do everything I can to protect my marriage as well. I just hate that OCD seems to be trying to convince me that it's not just thoughts, but that I actually want these things.

Harm OCD

Username: whitneyx

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

ERP question

I’m not sure if anyone has had this fear, but i’m worried that if i actually get better with erp and face my harm ocd that one day the thought of hurting others won’t scare me anymore. Has anyone else had this fear?

Harm OCD

Username: Mindilini

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 46w ago

Fears of losing control and doing what OCD says

Meaning, like harm OCD for example. You don't want to stab someone but you keep getting images and thoughts like you want to, even though it's totally against who you are and not something you would do. It then turns into a fear that the feelings and thoughts will be so strong that you'll actually do the thing that you're afraid of. I could really use some recommendations, and support. Don't reassure please, just provide your support and your thoughts on what could work to help this. Thank you in advance as I'm really really scared right now. Also, welcome to anyone who wants to share their own situation if you need support. Please feel free to comment here and let's support each other Thank you so much in advance.

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Harm OCD

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