ERP Help

So I’m no expert, I’ve had pocd in the past and managed to get over that theme by exposing myself and then my theme switched. I still have intrusive thoughts w pocd but I don’t care about them and they don’t cause me anxiety. I wish I could be in that same space w my current theme but I’m not. I officially signed up to do erp w a therapist two years ago and after 5months, i gave up. My ocd themes were switching constantly and now I’m stuck w the worse theme that has persisted for the last 18months. Some days are better than others and as much as I try to resist my compulsions, I usually just give in to them. Mainly, I ruminate and it’s quite difficult to stop because it feels so automatic. I know it will get better for both you and I because I was able to manage in the past and I have learned through my previous themes that ocd is such a liar! Of course, I say that now because I’m not triggered but once the thoughts hit, I don’t know what is me and what is ocd.

I felt like your recently. I truly think it gets worse before it gets better. You may be doing exactly what you are supposed to- your OCD may hate it and may be throwing a major tantrum for a few days. I stuck with it and answered ocd the same way every single time and it seems to be better: OCD: this will never get easier Me: yea maybe OCD: your life is seconds from being ruined Me: yea probably.. that would suck OCD: you are a bad person Me: yea I am OCD: you aren’t normal Me: probably not OCD: you are a p Me: yea probably OCD: you must confess xyz or you’ll feel like this forever Me: yea I’ll feel like this forever. The key is to not giving these any more attention other than agreeing with it and then sitting with the anxiety/guilt/ whatever feelings it produces while still going about your day the way you would want it to be if you didn’t have OCD. Atleast that’s what I’ve been doing and so far seems to be getting better.

I have had OCD since I was a small child. This year has been one of the most difficult of my life with OCD. So much suffering. At one time last month, there were so many themes that I felt like I just couldn't go on anymore. And then I really started focusing on ERP. It has been so hard and so scary, but for the first time in a while, I've been feeling the hope return. I've been getting out of bed and facing my life and its uncertainty. No matter how dark it gets, it does get better. You've got this! As for an ERP tip: don't try to overanalyze what is happening in your brain. I struggle with Pure O, and once I learned about the different mental compulsions, I'd get stuck in loops of "is this rumination? or is this checking? what if it's thought blocking?" The truth is, all of it is OCD. if it feels like OCD, it is. the important thing is sitting with the uncertainty and anxiety. I hope this helps :)

Sometimes the ERP session goes smooth and I’m surprised it went well. Then afterwards it spikes and I’m let down. But we’re gonna have ups and downs because the change won’t be linear. And the days when I’m doing fine I don’t tell myself “Oh it’s gone. I’m ok. I don’t need to do as many ERP sessions.” Instead I say “ I still have it and it will pop up, I just done know when. I love myself and am willing to sit with it when it comes back.”It always comes back. And start again over and over until we get this down. Sit in it, breathe, say “ok you are just a thought. Im gonna relax. I know I’m doing the best I can.” We all understand.

I’m following to see what other folks have to say about erp because I may give it another go soon.

I have recovered from this theme if you want to talk I’m here! I was able to stay over at my niece and nephews overnight which was a huge accomplishment for me. It sounds like you are trying really really hard and I commend you for that! Keep in the game, and don’t forget to give yourself some grace, go easy and know that you are doing a wonderful job fighting!

I'm trying to avoid reassurance but I feel I'm swinging blind and I'm only hitting the OCD pinata half the time

Are you doing erp w a therapist? And what are you doing for response prevention?

Love this dialogue! And so this is erp?

Can I ask, do you see something and feel like your mind is liking it. And you feel that is your true self liking it?